I've always been very shy. Already, people know me now and do not believe, but true. And the other small "outdated" and I know how it is. With training and willpower, I have become more sociable, but I feel uncomfortable when I am alone with teachers with whom I have a relationship half-confidence, but those who do not know what to talk about (what is right, talk, not talk? etc). Also known to shun the bus, I do not want to face the awkward conversations that I know will take place (When I take courage and dare to talk to them - that is, not to pretend that I have not seen - the talks are 99% uncomfortable). I guess with more training that discomfort is going well, but I have not gotten that yet.
funny thing is that this shyness associated with a kind of fear that hurt me. As if these situations were conducive for me to look ridiculous and people are laughing at me, or them to think I'm stupid, or whatever. And it is clear that fear is there. If not, tell me why yesterday my heart raced when I got to return keys to a nearby garage ... And yes, the conversation was awkward.
But not only is that. Today, meditating, I realized that there is also something more basic: I do not like discomfort. And I say: "Wow, I know I not meditate." Ya. But not me. The fact is that the rejection of the discomfort is one of the cases that the Buddha explicitly as "suffering" in his first speech:
"This, O monks, is the Noble Truth of Suffering. "Birth is suffering, aging is suffering, sickness is suffering, death is suffering, associated with undesirable is suffering, it is desirable to separate from suffering, not getting what you want is suffering. In short, the five aggregates of adhesion are suffering. "
Ya, I know what you will say. That Buddhism is part of some very obvious, or what you were thinking? Well, the trouble is that the discomfort (and undesirable things in general) are always going to be here, and you can not escape from them as much as we wish. So I must learn to live with it. I I will be contant how I go. With regard to these things, the Chinese master Hongzhi said
" Move freely everywhere, without following the conditions, without falling in the rankings. Confronting everything, drop it and get stability. Stay with it like this, stay with it as it "*
* Hongzhi code language spoken in Ch'an. To understand one must meditate. Or know Chinese. Or both.
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