Today I was waiting for the bus, thinking how my life would enlighten me once. Yes, I suppose most people do not think these things, but my mind is. I imagine myself as a haven of peace and quiet, living a quiet life in the countryside or the mountains, like the old ascetics Chinese ... (ya, ya know.)
Anyway, as I thought this, I realized that although a part of me want much, do not think I will make the mountain hermitage. Probably will finish teaching at the university or research scientist, I a family and all that, and live in the middle of the marketplace. My life is not going to come back more beautiful than it already is. I'm not going to meditate in the light of the moon while the birds perch fearlessly on my shoulders. It will not sound smooth chill-out music as I look to infinity. I will not say cool phrases such scholars say as I sip my tea in the woods. My life will not be a movie, and I'm not going to be Yoda or Miyagi or some of them. I'll have to get up in the morning to catch the bus, pick up my kids from school, live bad times at work and sometimes I will go short pasta. Very mundane everything. And that's it, right? But unconsciously, until today was focusing practice as if my life were to be more mystical, cool in the future. And that is a mistake.
Now I can enjoy 10 minutes more than I have to wait for the bus because there was a jam in the M-30, or to run away from home because I get to class, or else I touch it. Because that's what I'm gonna live. And actually, it's pretty cool. * Not as romantic, but what can we do.
* Anyway, I think things look much more romantic from the outside, and that a Chinese ascetic life will seem as mundane as for me to take the bus ...
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