Yesterday I woke up with a strange feeling, a kind of apathy that I could not see what beautiful day doing or how lucky I have to stay alive. It was as if he had no desire to live. This sensation has appeared several times and has been so many. Like most things in this life, not lasted. This time, thanks to prior knowledge (as I was reading Ajahn Chah the day before), I got carried away by it (Ajahn Chah said, "let go! Let go!") And simply watched. But that did not go away.
My experience with unpleasant sensations says if I feel and watch without getting involved in it should go away soon, and holy Easter. On this occasion, there was apathy, despite not feeling at all. There was a part of me (the "original mind, consciousness, or whatever you want to call it) who just saw / felt what was happening, and one that was apathetic. So well kept, a couple of hours, until the apathy is tired and left. Curious.
While I was apathetic, I met people on the street who were sad, angry, impatient ... almost no smile (if you have not done this expeirmento is very interesting: almost no one is smiling in the street .) Normally, seeing this land reflect on the suffering, how it affects us all, and others. But subconsciously, I do as if I was over and saw him, thinking: "Woe to them, how I would help them." Yesterday, however, I thought I was suffering like them and still had not gotten me out of this hole.
Who I want to save, if I've saved myself? How am I so proud?
Gautama said it best: " Meanwhile, O monks, understanding and vision regarding these Four Noble Truths in accordance with reality in its three aspects and twelve ways was not entirely pure in me, I did not admit to the world with its deities, Maras and Brahmas, humanity with its ascetic Brahmins and men, who had been successful for myself the incomparable enlightenment. " (SN 56.11 Dhammacakkappavatana Sutta).
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